OG on Sale!

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And by OG I mean my first book, Kentucky Home.  If you like hunky, surly horse farmers, ladies looking for a fresh start, transformative haircuts, family-related sass, and three-legged dogs named Peanut, this is the book for you!

It’s only 99 cents for all you Nook-ers out there, as part of Barnes and Noble’s Season of Love sale.  Which is probably the only time in my writing life that I’ll be listed alongside Dora the Explorer, so go ahead and take advantage of it!

Kisses!


RT Recap – Day 1. It’s happening!

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So, one thing that happened yesterday is that I dropped my tablet and I’m not sure I can express how annoying it is to blog on my phone.

It is very!

 

Good thing I didn’t take any pictures.

Ok! Here we go!

I woke up in the morning being all, Jules, we’re going to breakfast at Ellen’s Southern Kitchen. Then we were super lazy and went for lunch. Fortunately they serve breakfast all day, and cheesy grits were had.

 

I had the hell out of them.

 

Trust me.

Because I did not take a picture.

Then…history! The JFK Memorial. Here it is:

 

I took one picture.

I took one picture.

We also stood near the grassy knoll and watched tourists almost get runned over as they took pics at the X that marks the spot where he was shot.

Americans!

 

Then I walked to CVS to get champagne for mimosas at the Shooting Stars Gala on Friday morning. #priorities

 

Ok, I took one more picture.

Ok, I took one more picture.

The official festivities began with Cinema Craptastique, in which nor even the magnificent man-breasts of Kellan Lutz could save the piece of disastrous crap that is The Legend of Hercules.

Fortunately it was narrated by Damon Suede, which makes everything worthwhile.

Also: candy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Friday Dog Blog Is Guess What Snow

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Oh, hey, hi, it’s snowing.  Is it snowing where you are?  It is snowing where I are.

It ain’t Boston snowing, but I am delicate and my life is the hardest.

Also, this is my first winter with my darling Starr, so I was unsure how she would deal with the snow.  For all of her divaliciousness, she doesn’t seem to mind the rain.  She won’t sit on anything that’s not my lap, but she’s fine in the rain.

Here was her first walk in the snow:

Pardon the gigantic video window.  I don’t know how to, like, do stuff.

Anyhoots, she recovered and I only had to hold her for half of the walk home.

Oh, and in case you forgot, SNOWED IN is available, ebook style.

Happy weekend!


Delicious!

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That is both an accurate description of my hairdo and the title of today’s book release!  Wow!

There I am, in the li’l font, with my li’l novella about a baker and an accountant.  There’s magic!  There’s love!  There’s meddling small-town neighbors!  There’s charming tropes!  There’s better grammar than that last sentence!

And I just spilled coffee on myself.

This is my first print release, so help my poor, delicate writer ego (see the coffee situation mentioned above) and if you see me and my gals Lori Foster and Lucy Monroe on the bookshelves, call the police because we are human beings.  But if you see Delicious, send me a pic!  I’ll pick a few winners and send you a sampler of eKensington’s winter releases – including “Kentucky Christmas,” which comes out on Thursday!

Happy Release Day to me!

delicious_maggieKisses!


A Fri-Dog Follow-Up

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Gosh, that headline is really hyphenated.  Which proves I really MEAN IT.

Anyhoo.  You may recall last week I mentioned a foster dog/angel face who was there for just a brief visit.

Lily made herself right at home.

0907130734Initially she was shy and nervous, but she was so delightful on Friday night that I figured it would be a-OK to leave her out when I went to work on Saturday.  (Also, I did not have a crate big enough for her.  How convenient that she was well-behaved!)

So at lunch time, I went home to take my Angel Lily for a walk.

And I saw this:

0907131610a

The blinds were not like this before, I swear.

I saw destroyed blinds, but no Lily.  Where was Lily?  Did she have a seizure and die?  No, she was hanging out peacefully on my back porch.  No problem.  Except how in the name of hounds did she get out there?

Take a closer look at the window:

0907131610cBecause there also used to be a screen there.

It was a gorgeous, not-very-warm day, so I thought, I know, I’ll leave the side window open so she can enjoy some fresh air.  But it was not enough for this greedy beast!  She would not be happy until she busted through the screen and jumped six feet to the ground.

Don’t worry, this story has a happy ending.  Lily was fine, if a little grass-stained, and she spent the rest of the day sleeping, only getting up to periodically check to make sure I was still in the house.  Yes, Lily, I will never leave you.

But the next day, I met up with her transport and she was happily on her way.  I was concerned that her anxiety would show it’s precious face again, but the guy who picked her up sent me this picture:

IMG952316She’s fine.  And she’s happily settled in Tennessee where she will make someone an amazing, loving, face of a pet.

Although they should think about getting a crate.


One Week!

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OK, one week and one day.

But.

Eight-ish days until Kentucky Home is unleashed upon the world!  I wish I could have come up with a horse metaphor for that.  But my enthusiasm is just so unbridled…

OK.

I am feeling a little pre-pub angst (new term!  Just coined it!), in that I have this precious little baby monster and I just hope the world loves it as much as I do.  And maybe they will.  Some people won’t.

But you know who did like it?  Library Journal!  These are my people!  When I did collection development, I bought so many books based on LJ’s recommendation!  Because they know of what they speak!  So imagine my thrill when I saw this:

Title, Sarah. Kentucky Home: A Southern Comfort Novel. eKensington. Apr. 2013. 201p. ebk. ISBN 9781601831149. EPUB $3.99. WESTERN ROMANCE
kentuckyhome040513 194x300 Xpress Reviews: E Originals | First Look at New Books, April 5, 2013Mallory Thompson is fed up with being the wife of a prominent physician in Washington, DC, especially after he gives her a black eye when he finds her making plans to leave him—even though one of his nurses is upstairs in their bed! Mallory turns for help to Luke Carson, bartender and man about town. Luke’s bright idea is to take Mal to his home in rural Kentucky, the Wild Rose Farm and Stables, and present her to his family as his fiancée while Mal decides what her next step will be. The Wild Rose is inhabited by Luke’s father, Cal, a cranky horseman reluctant to make changes to his business; Luke’s eldest brother, Keith, who is still grieving the loss of his wife and child in a terrible accident; his headstrong younger sister, Katie; longtime housekeeper Libby; and a three-legged dog named Peanut. While city girl Mal works hard to fit into a very different way of life on the Wild Rose, she finds herself falling in love with the land, the Carson family, Peanut, and, most of all, prickly widower Keith. When Mal’s husband comes looking for her and is determined to take her back to Washington, Mal realizes that there is nothing for her in DC and that she has found a new home in Kentucky.
Verdict The first entry in Title’s “Southern Comfort” series introduces us to the Carson clan and the Wild Rose. Mal and Keith get off to a rough start, but things soon heat up in the bunkhouse as Keith gets to know Mal, and her bright smile and sunny disposition make it impossible for him to hold onto his gruff manner and his grief. This reviewer is eager to find out what’s next for the Carson family!

I know that’s long as hell, but I just had to put in the whole thing.

I also have been sort of mystified by the love I’ve been getting on GoodReads.  I am not naturally a social media person (as you may have guessed from my infrequent blogging and tweeting and facebooking.  And are there more social media things?  I don’t do those.  Not yet!), so it is kind of exciting and strange to see all these people – people I don’t even know in real life! – marking li’l ol’ Kentucky Home to-read.

To quote myself, It’s Really Happening!

</dork>

More updates soon.  I have a lot of things to mention, not the least of which is my complete frustration with the term “mommy porn.”  Dammit, my book is porn for everyone!  Or something like that.  Still working on it.

Laters,

Sarah Title

Self-pincher.

 



Am I an Alien on this Planet? A Recap of Episode 4 of the Bachelor

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Seriously, how many episodes are left.  I went into this episode bored, and I left bored but also angry.  And I have feelings for Sean.

You guys, I’m falling for him.  Hard.

So, the show basically opens with Sean in his boxer briefs.  Then Chris Harrison sneaks out of the wardrobe, wipes the drool off his chin, and gives the date card to the Meadow Soprano.  (Seriously!  Doesn’t she look like her?)

selma

Selma from the Bach

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Jamie Lynn Sigler, aka Meadow Soprano. I WIN THE INTERNET.

OK!  So Sean and Meadow Soprano get in a private plane and Meadow breaks all manner of FAA regulations by sitting on his lap for the entire flight.  Perhaps she is trying to cover up the fact that Sean is wearing pink capris?  But Chris Harrison picked them out for him, so the producers weren’t allowed to make him change.  They look good over his boxer briefs.

Anyway!  Meadow Soprano is apparently some kind of glamour girl?  (Is it weird that on this show the glamour girl people look the same as the outdoorsy people?)  So it’s funny that Sean took her to the desert?  Also funny because she’s Iraqi?  This is where I started drinking.

I’m not really sure what Meadow Soprano was expecting when Sean told her to show up for the date wearing sweatpants (tight, please), but it surely was not climbing a rock.  But he is testing her!  He laughs about it, but he’s also serious!  She is afraid of heights!  And snakes!  And heat!  I feel like I am Meadow Soprano right now.  All three of those things, plus a little buzzed.

OK, so they make it, because climbing this really fucking huge rock was a metaphor for overcoming troubles (ding!), and then Tierra shows up and pushes Meadow into the vast desert.  JK!  They just climb down, I guess.  They don’t show that part.

OK, but listen.  Here is where it all happens.  They go for dinner in a romantic trailer park (is there really such a place???  In an episode full of ridiculous things, this might be the most.  For now…).  (Also, this is the first time I noticed that sometimes Sean has dead eyes.  As soon as the girl looks away, he gets this vacant look.  It only lasts a moment, but I imagine he spends that moment thinking of Chris Harrison.  As does Chris Harrison.)

But while Sean’s eyes are busy being dead, Meadow Soprano’s eyes are trying to kiss Sean.  But her lips and her parents are like, no.  Because even though she is a grown woman and clearly does not agree with the restrictive upbringing of her culture and, again, she is a grown woman, she cannot kiss Sean on camera.  Now, I have no problem with her not kissing him.  If she was like, if we start hitting it, it’s going to muddle my feelings and I need to be clear for this to work.  Or if she was like, it is my personal belief that we shouldn’t already be kissing.  Or, this is a private intimate moment that I don’t want on camera.  But instead she was like, my mom will be mad.  Lady.  Carmella ain’t gonna be that mad.  And if she is, guess what?  You’re a daggun adult!  And then she kept saying “I wish I could kiss you!” and I kept saying “YOU CAN” and her eyes were like “I want to kiss her!” and Sean was like, now I just want to kiss her more.  And it’s just.  It’s all too much.

So after twenty-five hours of non-kissing, it’s time for the group date!  Another sweatpants date!  I sort of feel like I could be on this show.  In fact, I’m on this show right now.  Anyhoots, the ladies go to an abandoned warehouse where there find they are going to do…roller derby!  Including One-Armed Sarah who has balance issues because she has only one arm!  Fuck you, producers!  But it all worked out as they planned, because she got a chance for Sean to tell her she could do it, and she did.  Unfortunately, Stank Face Amanda fell on her Stank Face and broke it.  Now, earlier in the date she had been telling people that she was an experienced roller derby-er to psych them out, and it totally worked.  But then she broke her face and had to go to the hospital.  For such a manipulator, I think she handled it pretty well.  In fact, I really started to like her.  There’s just something appealing about the fact that she’s being a total ho, but she’s upfront about it.

Unlike…Tierra!  Tierra!  As Catherine says, Tierrable.  It’s trending, people.  After they cancel the BOUT (not a game, not a match.  I don’t even know anything about anything and I know it’s called a daggun bout) so nobody else breaks their face, they have the most boring roller disco ever and they change into weird outfits and go to a place with a lot of hallways to sit around and fight with each other.

Stank Face Amanda comes back and she’s fine!  She milks it a little with Sean, but she’s upfront about it so we’re cool.  But Tierra.  Tierra can’t handle someone else having the broken-faced glory.  Robyn baits her a little (she totally does!) and Tierra loses her shit and is all I won’t be abused like this!  And she pulls Sean away from his time with (who was that?  AshLee? Political Lesley?) to be all I’m going home!  And if I were Sean, I would be all, golly, I’m sorry to hear that but if you are so unhappy I’ll walk you out.  But instead he’s all, I really like you I hope you stay.

Does he seriously not see how she just manipulated that?  He thinks she’s insecure, but he doesn’t see that she throws a fit every time anyone gets attention?  And that THIS is the real metaphor for their future relationship?  And that she says she’s not the “drama girl,” which means she is a liar because she is SO the drama girl!

Back at the house, Poker Leslie is trying on her Pretty Woman diamond earrings and wondering what to wear on her date with Sean, who agreed to the producers facilitating the product placement that got her the diamond earrings.  She’s looking in the mirror, tossing her hair this way and that, dreaming a precious dream.  A dream where a handsome man takes her shopping on Rodeo Drive and buys her an unflattering dress and lets her borrow a gigantic necklace that clashes with the dress from his famous friend and then takes her to dinner where he tells her that he’s just not feeling it and sends her home.  Except it’s not a dream.  That’s what happened.  And then Sean was left to listen to the contractually obligated Ben Taylor sing Sade by himself.  The rose fell.  Petals dropped.  His heart, his heart was breaking.  Chris Harrison wiped his eyes furtively on his shirtsleeve.

Several things bothered me about this date.  First, are we not wearing belts or cummerbunds with tuxedos anymore?  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I DO feel GROSS about the fucking Pretty Woman love.  I mean, the movie is fun and maybe sweet and a MOVIE.  About a PROSTITUTE who is treated like SHIT and like a COMMODITY but her magic hoo-ha cures the lonely rich guy.  That is fine for fiction!  Not for life!  If a guy is an asshole, he is probably not broken inside!  He is probably just an asshole!  Let’s stop with that fantasy, please!  But the one that is more present, the one that made my face fall off, is the one wherein every girl in the house was like, it’s my dream to be taken shopping!  THAT IS NOT YOUR DREAM.  It cannot be.  Surely we are not raising our young women to measure their worth to their partner based on what he is willing to spend on her?  We totally are!  Mother fucker, we totally are.

Anyway, Poker Leslie went home.  She didn’t cry and I was proud of her.  And it’s probably a good thing she went home because Tierra would have straight-up murdered her when she got back to the house.

But instead, Tierra apologized to Katie Holmes and Jackie (who’s Jackie?  And what did she do?) and said that drama is so not her and then her head exploded.  Then Catherine knocked Sean over the head and dragged him away.  They apparently have a connection?  I haven’t seen it, but what do I know.  Then Chris has a tray of roses plus one rose tucked away in his back pocket, the one he keeps under his pillow.  And here’s who is coming back next week:

Tierra, who is so not drama

Meadow Soprano

Giggly Catherine

Katie Holmes

Lindsay who doesn’t have a nickname yet

Political Lesley

Robyn, who Tierra murdered with her eyes so she might not actually be back

AshLee

One-Armed Sarah

Jackie (who is Jackie??)

And then!  I thought for sure it would be Stank Face Amanda!  But Sean broke my heart and her jaw and gave the rose to Daniella.  Scandalous!  More shocking than last week’s Downton Abbey!

So, that’s what happened.  Next is a fucking two-day event so I’m really fucking looking forward to that.  Also, is someone getting injured every daggun episode?  The most dangerous Bachelor yet?  Wait, is Chris Harrison hatching a secret plot to take out all of the women and keep Sean and his boxer briefs for himself????

I would watch the hell out of that.